Communication Skills

We've filled you in on mentoring basics, so now we'll cover a few details that will help you fine­tune your mentoring performance. Whether you'll be communicating with your mentee mainly via email, telephone or in-person, knowledge of the following communication skills will come in handy.

• Skill #1: Active listening. Allows you to truly understand the content and emotion of what someone is saying. You must focus, hear, respect and communicate your desire to understand.
• Skill #2: Paraphrasing. To paraphrase, restate what someone has said. This lets the person know you understand what s/he meant.
• Skill #3: Open-ended questions. Intended to collect information by exploring feelings, attitudes and views. An open-ended question can't be answered with one word, such as "yes" or "no."
• Examples of open-ended questions: "How do you see this situation?" "What are your reasons for.." "Can you give me an example?" "How does this affect you?" "How did you decide that?" "What would you like to do about it?" "What part did you play?"
• Skill #4: "I" Messages. Keep the focus on you and explain your feelings in response to someone else's behavior. "I" messages aren't judgmental. They don't accuse or place blame. They communicate both information and respect for both persons' positions.